What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Five

In 2013 I ran my first 5k. In 2014 I decided to run a 5k every month. In September I must have accidentally Freaky Friday-ed my body with an actual runner and decided it would be a good idea to run a 10k. I don't know what I was thinking. There's probably some defenseless woman out there who doesn't understand why she suddenly has the appetite of a Gilmore Girl.

I really felt like I was on my way to becoming a real runner. Partly because I had body switched with that lady (see above) but mainly because I signed up for a running class and actually started to enjoy running. I was in Green Bay for work and ran to Lambeau Field and back each morning. I did push-ups in my hotel room. Okay, I did a push-up. I ran five miles for the first time in my life.

October: Forest Park Firefighters 5k 
I was ready for my next 5k...which was in a cemetery. I got a lot of weird looks from people when I told them I was running the Forest Park Firefighters 5k and that it was in a cemetery. I've learned that you shouldn't smile when you say, "cemetery." Not that it's disrespectful, I think it just creeps people out. Lesson learned.

I'm still not sure I understand how the timing worked at this race. We all gathered at the cemetery (she wrote with a solemn look on her face), someone sang the national anthem, and then we just started running. We looped around the cemetery a couple times, ran on the street, and then crossed the finish line set up by the picnic grove. The Nesquick bunny gave out high fives and chocolate milk. I Googled to confirm that bunnies do in fact have five toes in their front paws, ensuring that it really was a high five and not a high four. You're welcome. I had my third fastest time of the year.

October: Frank Lloyd Wright 10k
I was losing steam as October continued. I was going out of town for work again and I still hadn't done 6.2 miles. I woke up the day I was leaving and decided that I would run the 10k distance before I left. It was bad. Really bad. I hated myself for not training hard enough. I hated my body for being so tired. I hated myself for wanting to cry. And then I actually did break down and cry. In the middle of the run I stopped and balled like a child. Bryan was with me and tried to comfort me, but I just needed to get it out of my system. All the bad feelings needed a place to escape and they decided to leave me in the form of embarrassing tears. Look away school children, this lady is having a rough morning, but do you have any water? I will say that I picked the worst day to attempt to run this distance. It was mid-October, but for some reason the humidity was 80 something percent. Another lesson learned. Sometimes Mother Nature is against you.

When the race day approached I was feeling nervous. I met up with my running class before the race for last minute advice and stretching.

Part of my running group. This is actually the first time I'm seeing their faces since I'm usually running blocks behind them in class trying and failing to catch up.

Something happened to my RunKeeper app during the race and it thought I was running about a minute faster than I actually was. This happens from time to time. I'll lose signal and it kind of just picks up where it lost it. Usually I hate when that happens, but this time it was actually helpful. During each audio cue, I thought, "Wow, I'm doing awesome!" In the back of my head, I knew that I wasn't really doing that great, but it was the motivation (i.e. lying) that I needed.

When I got tired, I stopped running and walked for a bit. When I was thirsty and passing a water station, I took some water. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean.  Wait, that wasn't me that was Forrest Gump. It's understandable how you could confuse my journey in an Oak Park neighborhood with that of a man running across the country multiple times. It's basically the same story.

I finished!

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Four

Me: Who is Ariana Grande?
Bryan: I don't know sounds like something you order at Taco Bell.

Readers, I'm getting old. I stumbled across a replay of MTV's Video Music Awards the other day and I could feel the years slipping through my fingers. Who were all those people? Is that what kids are wearing? Is that music today?! If it wasn't for the fact that it was nearing 7:30pm, my actual bedtime 50% of the time, I would have been a little more horrified. Alas, I went to bed instead.

Running is weird. It makes me feel old and young at the same time. At every race I've done this year, there's always at least three times when I think, "Why am I here? What am I doing? This sucks." But then at every race I cross the finish line and inside I'm shouting, "YEEEAAAHHHH!! LET'S SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER RACE!" Sometimes I shout it out loud. Most times I just try to catch my breath in the ugliest way possible.

I just finished my 12th and final race of the year last Saturday. It's been awhile since I've posted about my running (or about anything at all), so I promise this week I will finish out my running posts. It may take more than one post since my writing, like my running, is very long-winded.

July: Chinatown 5k
I almost didn't do this race. I woke up the morning of the Chinatown 5k, looked outside to see it pouring rain, and thought it would be really easy to just go back to bed. I hadn't really been training, but I thought I would go ahead and try it. It would probably stop raining and it would be fun to go to Chinatown.

It did not stop raining. I think it actually started raining harder. There were runners huddled underneath tents and the store fronts trying to stay out of the rain. They called for the runners to line up and like idiots, we all walked out into the monsoon. I was soaked within 30 seconds. After a minute I realized that I was REALLY soaked. People ran with umbrellas. I ran with the hope of taking the opposite of a shower as soon as the race was over.

Look at those smiles! You would never guess that we have squishy socks and underwear.

September: Bucktown 5k
I think it took all of August to officially dry off after the Chinatown race.  I was starting to feel unmotivated and in need of a group of people to run with so I signed up for a 10k running class with the one and only Janice Enloe. I love Bryan, but he RUNS and I more casually jog. Usually when we run together I'm out of breath and constantly apologizing for how terribly slow I am. I am the dial-up of running and Bryan is High Speed Internet. AOL will be sponsoring me soon.

If you sign up for races based off the swag, I would highly recommend the Bucktown 5k. I've worn the sweatpants from September's race multiple times. Bryan wore his at our last race. I typically wear mine to have more room for pizza eating.

My friends Annika and Dan ran the race with me. And by "with me" I mean, they finished hours before me. I think I might still be running in Bucktown.

My running class taught me how to dress for running. Dress like it's 20 degrees warmer than it actually is. It's unfortunate that I didn't listen to the advice for September's race. It was a little bit cooler that day and I decided to wear my cool looking running jacket. Five minutes in I was dying from the heat, but I couldn't take it off since my number was pinned on the outside.

I know I make a lot of jokes about running slow, but I really am proud of myself for trying. I see a lot of people post things about being faster than yourself sitting on your couch and it's completely true. Don't get discouraged if you're not as fast as you want to be. I am trying to constantly remind myself that I'm so much faster than I was even a year ago. Running is running. Go as fast or as slow as you want to go. Unless you're being chased by a bear. Then you should probably try to go a little faster, but as my Dad always says, "You only have to be faster than the slowest person."