Four Reasons to Run on New Year's Day

There's nothing like running in the winter. Ice on the ground, cleverly covered with snow. Ice in your nostrils. Ice in your brain because no one in their right state of thinking wants to wake up on New Year's Day and run in the freezing cold. So thank goodness there's nothing like running in the winter. Because it's the worst. I've always said that winter is the worst thing to happen to weather since summer.

When I ran this race two years ago, it was even colder and it was snowing. My time was pretty terrible this year, but it was four minutes faster than 2014's time. As we were standing at the start line I overhead a woman tell her friend, "I can't believe we actually paid to do this!" Thinking about signing up next year? Here are four reasons to do it.

Four reasons to do the NYD 5k:

1. The price is right - only $25 for the 5k!
2. Swag - the long sleeve technical t-shirt is actually a quality shirt and perfect for winter running (or wintertime pizza eating) 
3. End the year without the hangover - One unexpected thing I like about this race is that I don't overindulge on New Year's Eve because I know the next day I'm going to be running. It's like getting a jump start on your New Year's diet so you can quit on January 30th instead of the 31st. 
4. Sleep in - The race starts at 11:00am, so even you did make it to midnight (something that escapes me ever year) you don't have to wake up too early on New Year's Day

And bonus - I'm 1/12th of the way through with my goal to run a race every month!

Three Reasons Why I'm Making Time a Friendship Bracelet

I'm a big fan of making sweeping declarations and setting crazy goals. I'm obsessed with bucket lists and my always changing: 'Things to Accomplish' list. For one month of the year a good portion of the population agrees with me and makes me feel a little less insane. Come February, though, everyone has gone back to normal life, resolutions forgotten, and I'm over here frantically adding more things to my list before I run out of time.

Time. It's always been something that the less I have left, the more I want. More time for reading. More time for traveling. And especially, more time with my friends and family.

After losing my Mom in 2011 time did a really funny thing. It started moving twice as fast. I wasn't 25 anymore. I was 50. I suddenly realized that there was so much to do, so many places I hadn't visited, books I hadn't read, movies that have gone unwatched, and things I hadn't told my loved ones yet. I started to see time as my enemy rather than my friend. I constantly thought, "Do I have too much on my plate or am I just not eating fast enough?"

This year I've decided to wave the white flag. Not to surrender, but to call off the war that I've created in my head and start a new friendship with time. (I would have chosen a different color flag, but I don't know what color a friendship flag is. Or would be? Is their a friendship flag? What is the color of friendship? Does that make anyone else think of that Color of Friendship Disney TV movie about the white girl from South Africa who goes to live with a black American family? God I loved Disney TV.).

To kick off this new friendship I've put together three ways I'd like to partner with time in 2016:

1. For my mind: read more classics
2. For my health: run a race a month 
3. For my soul: explore Chicago

For my mind: read more classics

Last year Bryan got me the most wonderful collection of classics for my birthday, but I haven't read one of them yet.  I spent a lot of 2015 acquiring lots of books to fill my shelves and this year I'd like to spend more time reading and less time buying. I know Bryan will be pleased to know he won't have to carry 15 pounds of books every time we go to a bookstore. In the perfect world, I would read all 26 books, but my new friend time is advising me to not set a reading pace. Thousands of pages shouldn't be crammed into a year, but enjoyed each day.

For my health: run a race a month

Unfortunately, time has not been as nice about running like it was with reading. Running in the cold and the heat is not my favorite thing to do, but making health a priority seems to be one way to help extend time so I think it's a fair trade off. I ran 12 races in 2014 and I felt so good after completing the year. It was hard, but I loved the feeling of accomplishment and hearing that I was inspiring others to start running too.

For my soul: explore Chicago

Like having all these amazing classics at my fingertips and not reading them, I have a wonderful city less than 10 miles away that I haven't fully explored yet. Traveling to different places, trying local food, and seeing how other people live is something I would do full time if I could. While I still want to see everything I can, I also want to take advantage of what's a quick train ride away. Bryan also got me this awesome pack of 50 different Chicago city walks last year that I want to use in 2016. I'm excited to start exploring all the cool things this city has to offer.

So that's how I'm going to be spending my time this year. Hopefully my friends and family will join me along the way - either reading the same books I'm reading, running with me (or cheering for me on the sidelines - because let's be honest, I'll need all the support I can get), or coming along to have a Chicago adventure! 

I Wrote Some Fitness Goals - No Joke

Is it weird to make fitness goals on April Fools' Day? Will anyone take me seriously? Will I take myself seriously? I will! I mean, I do! After a year of running a 5k every month I decided to take the winter off. I swore that I wouldn't run in the freezing cold. I told myself, "Self, no more running in the snow. You hate it." Too bad I didn't tell myself to stop ordering pad thai every week, but it is important to set realistic goals.

I got a Fitbit for Valentine's Day to help track my activity...or lack of activity. Yes, it took about a week to get that Fitbit song ("Well...earlyfit, latefit, rowfit, datefit, stairfit, weeeeeee, find your fit") out of my head. But now I'm keeping track of my steps, monitoring my heart rate, and (when I remember) entering my calories. It's definitely helping me make healthier choices. I was at the airport last month and decided to walk instead of using that moving walkway! Nevermind that I was walking to McDonald's to get a hash brown. Baby steps count as much as regular steps.

I'm starting fresh in April with a few goals to help get and keep me motivated.

April's Goals:

1. Walk 10,000 steps a day
2. Run 40 miles
3. Complete a 5k
4. Get out of the house when the weather is nice!
5. Stop eating like a Gilmore Girl

What are your goals for this month?

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Six

Is anyone else really concerned about DMX's vocal cords? The man has been shouting since the 90's. I just want to give him a cough drop and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. I read a story once about how Celine Dion won't talk the day of a show and uses an air humidifier in her dressing room.  I imagine DMX and Celine have been sharing their voice-saving strategies for years.

DMX: "STOP! DROP!"

Celine: "D, remember, use your inside voice." 

Okay okay, I know, enough with the timely pop culture references.

So what do I listen to when I run? Here's a few songs from my playlist that I've been using for the past couple races:

• Vava Voom - Bassnectar
• On A Train - The Magician Remix - Yuksek
• B.O.B. - OutKast
• Untrust Us - Crystal Castles
• Lose Control - Missy Elliott (feat. Ciara & Fat Man Scoop)
• Breed - Nirvana
• Pump It - The Black Eyed Peas
• Country Grammar - Nelly
• A Milli - Lil Wayne
• Howling At The Moon - Phantogram
• Animals - Marin Garrix
• Come With Me Now - Kongos
• Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay Z
• I'm Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys

I highly recommend all of those songs, but especially the Dropkick Murphys. Fair warming you may accidentally/on purpose punch someone in the face as you cross the finish line. I think this song accounts for 87% of all face punches in races. Bryan said he doesn't hold it against me, but his eye always twitches a little when he says this. I'm still unclear if it's because he's lying or from my awesome right hook.

November: Cantigny 5k

Speaking of punching people in the face, what's with people running with no shirt in the winter? Or no shoes? It's ridiculous. And if these people would run a little bit slower I would definitely punch them in the face. Cantigny's 5k was on a golf course. Sounds beautiful, but then you realize that you're running up and down the hills that are typically used for golf carts. 

December: Santa Hustle 5k

I ran my final 5k of the year last at Soldier Field with Bryan and my friend, Ellie. We followed the giant inflatable Santa and stood in the freezing cold for the better part of 45 minutes. I was really excited to learn that we got a hoodie for this race. I was less excited when I saw how incredibly small the sizes ran. How can a race that celebrates a fat man eating millions of cookies have such small sizes? I ended up exchanging my hoodie twice because I couldn't get one that fit. You know that feeling of trying on a shirt that's too small in the dressing room and there's that moment of panic when you can't get it on or off? It's just stuck between your neck and arms and you start thinking about how maybe you could lead your life with a shirt covering your face. That was this hoodie. But enough about my chubby arms, let's get on to the race.

I had my second fastest time at this race, but I think it's mainly because I realized that I really had to pee about 10 seconds before the race started. This race taught me an important lesson. Approach every race like a child about to go on a very long car ride. Yes, you probably don't have to go to the bathroom right now, but you should try just in case. While my fellow runners were gleefully stopping at the candy and cookie stations and taking pictures of the funny signs along the route, I was thinking about how it wouldn't be that big a deal to pull off to the side of the road and just go. See what I mean? Be a child on a road trip!

Final Thoughts:
I'm so happy to have finished 12 races in 2014. I ran more than I ever have before. I ran in the snow. I ran in the rain. I ran in the heat. It was hard and challenging and I wanted to give up many, many times.  My advice to anyone attempting to run a race a month would be to have fun, ensure that you have an awesome playlist, and to keep trying even when it sucks. It's completely worth it! Plus, free bananas.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Five

In 2013 I ran my first 5k. In 2014 I decided to run a 5k every month. In September I must have accidentally Freaky Friday-ed my body with an actual runner and decided it would be a good idea to run a 10k. I don't know what I was thinking. There's probably some defenseless woman out there who doesn't understand why she suddenly has the appetite of a Gilmore Girl.

I really felt like I was on my way to becoming a real runner. Partly because I had body switched with that lady (see above) but mainly because I signed up for a running class and actually started to enjoy running. I was in Green Bay for work and ran to Lambeau Field and back each morning. I did push-ups in my hotel room. Okay, I did a push-up. I ran five miles for the first time in my life.

October: Forest Park Firefighters 5k 
I was ready for my next 5k...which was in a cemetery. I got a lot of weird looks from people when I told them I was running the Forest Park Firefighters 5k and that it was in a cemetery. I've learned that you shouldn't smile when you say, "cemetery." Not that it's disrespectful, I think it just creeps people out. Lesson learned.

I'm still not sure I understand how the timing worked at this race. We all gathered at the cemetery (she wrote with a solemn look on her face), someone sang the national anthem, and then we just started running. We looped around the cemetery a couple times, ran on the street, and then crossed the finish line set up by the picnic grove. The Nesquick bunny gave out high fives and chocolate milk. I Googled to confirm that bunnies do in fact have five toes in their front paws, ensuring that it really was a high five and not a high four. You're welcome. I had my third fastest time of the year.

October: Frank Lloyd Wright 10k
I was losing steam as October continued. I was going out of town for work again and I still hadn't done 6.2 miles. I woke up the day I was leaving and decided that I would run the 10k distance before I left. It was bad. Really bad. I hated myself for not training hard enough. I hated my body for being so tired. I hated myself for wanting to cry. And then I actually did break down and cry. In the middle of the run I stopped and balled like a child. Bryan was with me and tried to comfort me, but I just needed to get it out of my system. All the bad feelings needed a place to escape and they decided to leave me in the form of embarrassing tears. Look away school children, this lady is having a rough morning, but do you have any water? I will say that I picked the worst day to attempt to run this distance. It was mid-October, but for some reason the humidity was 80 something percent. Another lesson learned. Sometimes Mother Nature is against you.

When the race day approached I was feeling nervous. I met up with my running class before the race for last minute advice and stretching.

Part of my running group. This is actually the first time I'm seeing their faces since I'm usually running blocks behind them in class trying and failing to catch up.

Something happened to my RunKeeper app during the race and it thought I was running about a minute faster than I actually was. This happens from time to time. I'll lose signal and it kind of just picks up where it lost it. Usually I hate when that happens, but this time it was actually helpful. During each audio cue, I thought, "Wow, I'm doing awesome!" In the back of my head, I knew that I wasn't really doing that great, but it was the motivation (i.e. lying) that I needed.

When I got tired, I stopped running and walked for a bit. When I was thirsty and passing a water station, I took some water. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean.  Wait, that wasn't me that was Forrest Gump. It's understandable how you could confuse my journey in an Oak Park neighborhood with that of a man running across the country multiple times. It's basically the same story.

I finished!

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Four

Me: Who is Ariana Grande?
Bryan: I don't know sounds like something you order at Taco Bell.

Readers, I'm getting old. I stumbled across a replay of MTV's Video Music Awards the other day and I could feel the years slipping through my fingers. Who were all those people? Is that what kids are wearing? Is that music today?! If it wasn't for the fact that it was nearing 7:30pm, my actual bedtime 50% of the time, I would have been a little more horrified. Alas, I went to bed instead.

Running is weird. It makes me feel old and young at the same time. At every race I've done this year, there's always at least three times when I think, "Why am I here? What am I doing? This sucks." But then at every race I cross the finish line and inside I'm shouting, "YEEEAAAHHHH!! LET'S SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER RACE!" Sometimes I shout it out loud. Most times I just try to catch my breath in the ugliest way possible.

I just finished my 12th and final race of the year last Saturday. It's been awhile since I've posted about my running (or about anything at all), so I promise this week I will finish out my running posts. It may take more than one post since my writing, like my running, is very long-winded.

July: Chinatown 5k
I almost didn't do this race. I woke up the morning of the Chinatown 5k, looked outside to see it pouring rain, and thought it would be really easy to just go back to bed. I hadn't really been training, but I thought I would go ahead and try it. It would probably stop raining and it would be fun to go to Chinatown.

It did not stop raining. I think it actually started raining harder. There were runners huddled underneath tents and the store fronts trying to stay out of the rain. They called for the runners to line up and like idiots, we all walked out into the monsoon. I was soaked within 30 seconds. After a minute I realized that I was REALLY soaked. People ran with umbrellas. I ran with the hope of taking the opposite of a shower as soon as the race was over.

Look at those smiles! You would never guess that we have squishy socks and underwear.

September: Bucktown 5k
I think it took all of August to officially dry off after the Chinatown race.  I was starting to feel unmotivated and in need of a group of people to run with so I signed up for a 10k running class with the one and only Janice Enloe. I love Bryan, but he RUNS and I more casually jog. Usually when we run together I'm out of breath and constantly apologizing for how terribly slow I am. I am the dial-up of running and Bryan is High Speed Internet. AOL will be sponsoring me soon.

If you sign up for races based off the swag, I would highly recommend the Bucktown 5k. I've worn the sweatpants from September's race multiple times. Bryan wore his at our last race. I typically wear mine to have more room for pizza eating.

My friends Annika and Dan ran the race with me. And by "with me" I mean, they finished hours before me. I think I might still be running in Bucktown.

My running class taught me how to dress for running. Dress like it's 20 degrees warmer than it actually is. It's unfortunate that I didn't listen to the advice for September's race. It was a little bit cooler that day and I decided to wear my cool looking running jacket. Five minutes in I was dying from the heat, but I couldn't take it off since my number was pinned on the outside.

I know I make a lot of jokes about running slow, but I really am proud of myself for trying. I see a lot of people post things about being faster than yourself sitting on your couch and it's completely true. Don't get discouraged if you're not as fast as you want to be. I am trying to constantly remind myself that I'm so much faster than I was even a year ago. Running is running. Go as fast or as slow as you want to go. Unless you're being chased by a bear. Then you should probably try to go a little faster, but as my Dad always says, "You only have to be faster than the slowest person."

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Three

There's a trend right now with my Facebook friends. They either post pictures of their kids or their running times. Of course there's that crazy sub-set of people who are doing both. I've been trying to run outside more and will sometimes see parents running with strollers. That's amazing! It's hard enough for me to get out there and push my own weight forward I can't imagine doing that with another human being. There's this crazy guy who runs with a double stroller AND a dog. Thanks for making us all look bad, man. I'm going to start running pulling my Harry Potter books in a Radio Flyer next time I see him and shout, "That's right, those are all seven HARDCOVER Harry Potter books. I'm literally running with the entire wizarding world behind me." He won't hear me because he's listening to Rosetta Stone mastering Parseltongue. 

I'm pretty sure that guy's a superhero.

May 2014 - Easter Seals Run for the Kids Superhero Hustle

My first 5k in May was on my birthday. I briefly mentioned it in an earlier post, but forgot to mention one crazy thing that happened. If you recall, I was dressed as Spider-Man during the race. My friend Katie was Superman and Bryan was Batman. 

Fun fact: I've never run in men's boxers and blue tights before.

My "costume" wasn't that comfortable and after the first stretch of the 5k in the bright, hot sun I was really regretting the tights. I felt bad for the ones with capes as they kept getting in the way. As we were running through the neighborhood I looked around and noticed that almost all of the other runners were dressed up as some superhero. There were police barricades every other intersection or so, but they didn't have enough officers to cover every one. As I turned the corner down one road, I saw a car back out of a driveway and start to drive down the road. The guy was driving a little fast and was trying to swerve around the runners. I could tell he was irritated they were running in the middle of the street. On any other day I totally would agree with Mr. Road Rage. Runners are supposed to run against traffic and usually on the side of the road, but we were obviously running a 5k. Finally Lex Luthor (aka Mr. Road Rage) passes the group and I realize that he really didn't understand that we were running in a 5k. What running group goes out dressed up in full superhero costume? And how do I join them?

May 2014 - The Original 5k

I didn't get to run a 5k in June thanks to a disgusting blister on the bottom of my right foot, but I did run two 5k's in May, so I'm still on track for my goal. The Original 5k was on May 31st so I got as close to June as I could. I'm still not 100 percent sure why this race is called the Original 5k - something about the first 5k happening or when running the 5k got super popular? All I know is that I decided to sign up for this race because the entry fee was $19.72. I ran this race with Bryan, Katie, and Ellie. 

Instead of a t-shirt we got tube socks (as seen in the background)

Walk/Run Method

I took a running class last year. Our instructor was a big proponent of the Walk/Run Method. I wasn't sure if it made a lot of sense. How could I run faster if I was walking? If you're new to running or looking for a way to mix up your running I would definitely suggest this method. I typically will run three minutes and then walk one minute. The minute of walking gives my legs a quick break and I'm fresher and able to run harder for the next three minutes. Last September I ran a 5k straight - no walking, only running. For the Superhero run I did the Walk/Run Method and had the exact same time as last September and felt a lot better after.

28: The Year of the Superhero

Like every person in their 20's, I believe that every BuzzFeed article was written for me personally. They get what's important to me. A list of 20 signs that Jennifer Lawrence is my spirit animal? Finally! See what I mean? BuzzFeed and I go together like peas and carrots. Or like Forrest Gump and a box of chocolates. Or me with a box of chocolates and an hour to kill before dinner.

Last year, BuzzFeed ranked every year in your twenties from the worst to the best year. I was excited to see that 28 was ranked number one because that's the age I'm celebrating this year.

Here's what they said: 
"Whew — 28 is the best year of your twenties. Not because of the spectacular partying (see: 22) or because you’ll magically have everything figured out (see: never), but because 28 is the year when you’re finally able to accept that no one actually “feels” like a grown-up and it’s OK that you don’t either. And it’s also OK that you never want another Jägermeister shot and that crowded shows make you want to crawl under a blanket forever. Just enjoy that blanket, 28-year-old you."

Too old to be a grown up: I kicked off 28 by doing a fun 5k in Villa Park for Easter Seals with Bryan and my friend Katie. I think I definitely was able to prove that it's okay to not be a grown up when you're 28. It helps when you're wearing blue tights, Spiderman boxers, and running next to Superman.

This is the cool comic book picture Katie made for my birthday!

Too old to not make time for family: I also got to see my Dad, Carol, Bryan's parents, and Bryan's grandparents on my birthday! We made the drive down to Minooka to enjoy some pizza at Giordano's. I wish I would have taken a picture, but just close your eyes and imagine a happy Asian woman with a giant piece of stuffed pizza and you pretty much got it.

Too old to not make a birthday wish: Birthday cake at Maya Del Sol later that night with some Oak Park friends!

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Two

I've got two more 5k's under my unattractive running belt, which I haven't been wearing because I'm not sure if I'm supposed to wear it on my waist or around my stomach. I've seen it done both ways and the real runners look great, but I just look like I'm rocking a mini-fanny pack. Rocking is the wrong word. You know that arms crossed, slightly swaying motion you make when you're trying to be cool at a concert? That's me with my mini-fanny pack.

What to keep in your mini-fanny pack:

• License or some other form of ID
• Cash (I usually only keep $20-$40 in case I need to catch a cab or buy ice cream)
• Credit card (In case there's a buy two get one free special on the ice cream)
• Insurance card (For when your heart stops because you're eating a pint of ice cream after running)
• Phone (Because it's more important than my left arm)

I'm sure there's other stuff that's important to keep with you, but that's what I typically carry with me if I'm running outside. If I'm running by myself I always tell someone where I'll be just in case. I also have been known to take a picture of myself pre-run and send it to Bryan so he knows what I'm wearing (and he's always impressed with my running outfits - bright pink shorts and a red shirt). Better safe than sorry...that someone doesn't get to witness my awesome color combination. I don't usually take a picture of myself post-run because I don't have enough energy to push the button on my phone. Sadly, my pink shorts have been hidden away in my closet as we've been in week 54 of winter. 

March 2014 - NWF5K

March is a great month for running in Chicago if you like wearing green and drinking beer. Since I was going to be out of town the weekend that most races were taking place, I decided to find a race in California and came across The Natasha Watley Foundation 5k in Woodley Park, CA.  Natasha Watley is a two time Olympian who founded the NWF to help fund softball leagues for inner city girls. My love for all things Olympics combined with my need to find a 5k made this an easy choice. 

Unlike January and February's 5k I was not sick for this race. I had actually been training for weeks prior. The weather was beautiful and the course through Woodley Park was night and day from the freezing/snowy weather back home. I was able to run my fastest 5k since I started running last year! Also, this race had the best free stuff of any race I've done. They had free food and coffee, lots of vendors giving away samples, and even gave us a nice bag too.

I also got the opportunity to meet Natasha Watley! Her arms were as big as my giant head.

April 2014 - The Race That's Good For Life

So remember earlier when I said I was finally not fighting off a cold for March's race? Well right after that race I got yet another cold and was knocked out for three weeks. A year ago The Race That's Good For Life was the first 5k I did. I was a bit disappointed that I was not able to train for this year's race, but I'm glad I was able to run with Bryan and two of my friends. Using the walk/run method I was able to complete my 4th 5k of the year with my 3rd fastest overall time.

I'm currently training for May's 5k and am looking forward to running one on my birthday. Last month I was running for pizza, this month I will be running for birthday pancakes. Wish me luck!

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part One

I'll be honest. I'm not a runner. I envy you, Murakami. I think about times I might need to run for my life - chased by kidnappers, murderers, zombies, vampires, aliens, children - at some point, I think I'd just give up. Basically what I'm trying to say is I'm not a survivor, but I'm trying.

Last year I made a Pre-30 Bucket List and decided I was going to run a 5k. I did that on April 28th in Oak Park. I wasn't sure how it was going to go and I think I was following a list of all the things NOT to do before you run a race. Instead of taking it easy the day before, I was on my feet standing in line for five plus hours at Three Floyd's Dark Lord Day (you're welcome, Bryan). Instead of training for weeks in advance, I sat on the couch and ordered delivery (you're welcome, Grubhub). Instead of getting a good night's rest, I stayed up way too late. When I went to bed I didn't know if I was actually going to run the next day. But I did end up going and I did really well (actually my best 5k time as of writing this post).

I decided I needed more of a challenge. I wanted to accomplish more. I really like eating pizza. I think my ultimate goal in life is to eat what I want and not have to buy bigger clothes. So with that new goal in mind, I decided to run more 5ks. In 2013 I completed five 5k's, one two mile race, and even took a 5k running class through the Oak Park Park District. I looked at my Pre-30 Bucket List and decided that I could run a 5k every month in 2014. That pizza is not going to eat itself.

January 2014 - NYD 5k
I kicked off the New Year getting kicked in the butt trying to run a 5k in a blizzard while sick. I was fighting off a two-week long cold by the time my first 5k of the year came around. Chicago was also fighting (and losing) a very disgusting battle with Mother Nature. I can tell you that the only time I smiled during this race was in this picture below. At one point I remember pumping my arms and running as fast as I could through the snow drifts and looking over at Bryan as he was walking next to me. Walking. The conditions were so terrible that it was faster to walk than to run. But I finished and got my free banana.

February 2014 - Warm Your Heart 5k
After January's disastrous "run" I decided to select an indoor 5k. I thought I was being so clever. No elements to deal with this time. I had been training since the January race so I was in good shape. I had a good feeling about this indoor 5k. Except a week before the race I came down with another cold. I know what you're thinking. All this exercise is killing you. And I think you're right. However, despite my hacking and feeling like I was going to puke, I did have my second best time of any 5k I've completed.

We'll see how the rest of the year goes. I still plan on accomplishing my goal. I am clearly insane. For pizza.