Let's Talk Books - The Paying Guests and Elizabeth is Missing

Books have been an important of my life for as long as I can remember. When I was grounded as a kid it wasn't TV that was taken away, but books and library visits. My love of books came from my Dad and Mom. I don't think I've ever seen my Dad without a library book in his hand and my Mom always had her portable CD player with her around the house listening to audio books. I was in a reading slump a few years ago, but after joining two different book clubs I feel like I'm reading more than ever. I miss the days of working at Barnes and Noble and being able to talk about books on a daily basis, so I thought the next best thing would be to bring my book ramblings to my blog. Shout out to my friend and fellow book club member Beth for encouraging me to start this!

This year I have a goal to read 40 books and to tackle the 2015 Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction Longlist. You can learn more about the Prize here. I'm taking a page (er, CD?) out of my Mom's book and am trying do more audio books. I've had great luck so far with audio books this year and it's helping me to finish more books.

The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters (3/5 stars)
What it's about: It's 1922 and Mr. Wray has passed away, the two Wray sons have died in the war, and Mrs. Wray and her daughter Frances have no other option but to convert the upstairs to an apartment and take on lodgers to make ends meet. Enter Leonard and Lilian Barber, a young couple who become the paying guests. Frances develops a crush on Lilian which quickly turns into a love affair. Both women try to hide the affair from Mrs. Wray and Leonard, which of course doesn't go exactly according to plan.

What I thought: This was my second Waters book. I read Tipping the Velvet last year for book club and really liked it. I didn't love the characters as much in The Paying Guests. I found Lilian to be insufferable for about 80% of the book. Part of this probably has to do with the audio version I was listening to (she did a great job at making Lilian's voice as annoying as possible every time she cried out to Frances) but I wanted to shake her and yell "Grow up!" every time her name crossed the page. No one seemed to really grow, improve, or even change throughout the book which made it seem a little bit exhausting to read. It was like listening to a friend tell you about a series of terrible decisions they made and when they got to the end of the story they said, "I guess that's it. What's for dinner?"

Elizabeth is Missing by Emma Healey (4/5 stars)
What's it about: Maud can't remember she's already bought canned peaches. She can't remember if she's eaten or where she lives. Sometimes when she looks into her daughter's face she struggles to figure out who she is. But there's one thing that Maud, despite her dementia, never seems to forget. Her friend Elizabeth is missing. As she tries to put the pieces and handwritten notes together she's reminded of another woman, her sister Sukey, who also disappeared from her life years prior. The book flows back and forth between present day and Maud's memories of her sister's disappearance.

What I thought: I was immediately sucked into Maud's story and her observations on how people treat and see her. They were so beautifully written that at times it was heartbreaking. I liked her interactions with her daughter Helen and her granddaughter Katy. I could feel Helen's frustrations in answering the same questions over and over and  I could appreciate the humor that Katy felt in some of the same situations. I enjoyed the Elizabeth story more than the Sukey parts. I wanted less detail when she looked back and more detail as she searched for Elizabeth, but I'm sure she did too. The book reminded me so much of my Grandmother who also had Alzheimer's. Some of the last visits with her I can remember involve her asking me and my brother what grade we were in repeatedly. I don't know if this book will get the attention it deserves with Julianne Moore's recent Oscar win for Still Alice fresh in everyone's mind, but it's definitely worth the read (or the listen). 

If You're Going To San Francisco...

There are so many awesome things to do in San Francisco. Bryan and I visited a few friends and took our first vacation as a married couple earlier this year. We're still planning an official honeymoon, but this trip definitely set the bar pretty high.

1. Eat breakfast at the farmer's market at the Ferry Building Plaza

2. Buy a book or ten at Green Apple Books

3. Explore the beauty of the Japanese Tea Garden

Notice that Bryan is carrying all of the books I bought. Married life is great!

4. Explore the beauty of a taco from La Taquera

5. Take a tour of Alcatraz

I would definitely recommend checking out the Ai Weiwei exhibit

6. Spot a selfie stick at Fisherman's Wharf

The stick is real.

7. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

You probably can't tell by looking at me, but it was really windy.

8. Observe at the de Young Observation Deck

9. Ride a Cable Car

10. Live your Full House dream at the Painted Ladies (if you can make it up the hill)

"Bryan, I can't walk up these hills anymore. Why do people live here?!"

Bryan walking like a normal human.

What ever happened to predictability? I bet the milkman and the paperboy just got tired of walking on an incline. Let's give them a break already!

11. Drink the beer, have some whisky, I mean coffee, and try a Snowy Plover

Toronado Pub

The Trappist Provisions

Russian River Brewing Company

The Buena Vista

Andytown Coffee Roasters

The One Where We Got Married

Last year Bryan and I had lots of conversations about marriage. We went back and forth on what to do. Did we want a big wedding? Did we want a small wedding? Who should invite? When should we get married? Where should we get married? Most importantly, what would be eating? 

I became overwhelmed at all the magazines, television shows, and Pinterest boards dedicated to every little decision. At the end of the year we agreed that while we loved the idea of getting married, we hated the idea of a wedding. So we made the decision to go downtown in January and get married.

On our way to the courthouse!

When we got to the courthouse I was surprised at how many people were in line. Some couples looked like they had walked right out of a wedding magazine and others looked like they had rolled right out of bed. Some had lots of family members with them and others, like us, were there by themselves. After we paid our $10 we sat in a small room with all the other couples and waited for our name to be called. 

I wish I remembered the name of our judge because she was really nice and politely ignored the fact that tears immediately started pouring down my face the moment she started talking. Bryan held it together really well, but I silently cried through the entire three minute "ceremony."

I asked the judge if we could get a picture with her and she replied, "Yes! Let's take a selfie!"

The weirdest part of the courthouse experience was when we were leaving there were all these photographers asking if we wanted our picture taken. They had little stations set up with a mobile printer so we could leave with our very own "wedding souvenir." Weird, right? I thought about getting one but noticed there was no green screen present. I'm not paying money unless it looks like we got married floating around in space.

We called our parents, siblings, and grandparents after we got home to share the news. Later that week we told the rest of our family and friends. We were a little worried that people would be upset, but we only got happy greetings and well-wishes from everyone.

I couldn't be happier with how Bryan and I decided to officially declare to the world that we're in this together forever. I try not to judge how people choose to take this step. Big weddings. Small weddings. Destination weddings. Courthouse ceremonies. In the end it's all about being with the person you love. You don't need rings or a fancy dress (but if you want them, get them!). It's about being able to hold their hands, look into their eyes (through your tears if you're like me), and promise that you'll love them no matter what. My advice would be to do what feels right and ignore what's expected. Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Our rings

Our Love Lock which is locked on the grate at Oak Park Ave.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Six

Is anyone else really concerned about DMX's vocal cords? The man has been shouting since the 90's. I just want to give him a cough drop and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. I read a story once about how Celine Dion won't talk the day of a show and uses an air humidifier in her dressing room.  I imagine DMX and Celine have been sharing their voice-saving strategies for years.

DMX: "STOP! DROP!"

Celine: "D, remember, use your inside voice." 

Okay okay, I know, enough with the timely pop culture references.

So what do I listen to when I run? Here's a few songs from my playlist that I've been using for the past couple races:

• Vava Voom - Bassnectar
• On A Train - The Magician Remix - Yuksek
• B.O.B. - OutKast
• Untrust Us - Crystal Castles
• Lose Control - Missy Elliott (feat. Ciara & Fat Man Scoop)
• Breed - Nirvana
• Pump It - The Black Eyed Peas
• Country Grammar - Nelly
• A Milli - Lil Wayne
• Howling At The Moon - Phantogram
• Animals - Marin Garrix
• Come With Me Now - Kongos
• Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay Z
• I'm Shipping Up To Boston - Dropkick Murphys

I highly recommend all of those songs, but especially the Dropkick Murphys. Fair warming you may accidentally/on purpose punch someone in the face as you cross the finish line. I think this song accounts for 87% of all face punches in races. Bryan said he doesn't hold it against me, but his eye always twitches a little when he says this. I'm still unclear if it's because he's lying or from my awesome right hook.

November: Cantigny 5k

Speaking of punching people in the face, what's with people running with no shirt in the winter? Or no shoes? It's ridiculous. And if these people would run a little bit slower I would definitely punch them in the face. Cantigny's 5k was on a golf course. Sounds beautiful, but then you realize that you're running up and down the hills that are typically used for golf carts. 

December: Santa Hustle 5k

I ran my final 5k of the year last at Soldier Field with Bryan and my friend, Ellie. We followed the giant inflatable Santa and stood in the freezing cold for the better part of 45 minutes. I was really excited to learn that we got a hoodie for this race. I was less excited when I saw how incredibly small the sizes ran. How can a race that celebrates a fat man eating millions of cookies have such small sizes? I ended up exchanging my hoodie twice because I couldn't get one that fit. You know that feeling of trying on a shirt that's too small in the dressing room and there's that moment of panic when you can't get it on or off? It's just stuck between your neck and arms and you start thinking about how maybe you could lead your life with a shirt covering your face. That was this hoodie. But enough about my chubby arms, let's get on to the race.

I had my second fastest time at this race, but I think it's mainly because I realized that I really had to pee about 10 seconds before the race started. This race taught me an important lesson. Approach every race like a child about to go on a very long car ride. Yes, you probably don't have to go to the bathroom right now, but you should try just in case. While my fellow runners were gleefully stopping at the candy and cookie stations and taking pictures of the funny signs along the route, I was thinking about how it wouldn't be that big a deal to pull off to the side of the road and just go. See what I mean? Be a child on a road trip!

Final Thoughts:
I'm so happy to have finished 12 races in 2014. I ran more than I ever have before. I ran in the snow. I ran in the rain. I ran in the heat. It was hard and challenging and I wanted to give up many, many times.  My advice to anyone attempting to run a race a month would be to have fun, ensure that you have an awesome playlist, and to keep trying even when it sucks. It's completely worth it! Plus, free bananas.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Five

In 2013 I ran my first 5k. In 2014 I decided to run a 5k every month. In September I must have accidentally Freaky Friday-ed my body with an actual runner and decided it would be a good idea to run a 10k. I don't know what I was thinking. There's probably some defenseless woman out there who doesn't understand why she suddenly has the appetite of a Gilmore Girl.

I really felt like I was on my way to becoming a real runner. Partly because I had body switched with that lady (see above) but mainly because I signed up for a running class and actually started to enjoy running. I was in Green Bay for work and ran to Lambeau Field and back each morning. I did push-ups in my hotel room. Okay, I did a push-up. I ran five miles for the first time in my life.

October: Forest Park Firefighters 5k 
I was ready for my next 5k...which was in a cemetery. I got a lot of weird looks from people when I told them I was running the Forest Park Firefighters 5k and that it was in a cemetery. I've learned that you shouldn't smile when you say, "cemetery." Not that it's disrespectful, I think it just creeps people out. Lesson learned.

I'm still not sure I understand how the timing worked at this race. We all gathered at the cemetery (she wrote with a solemn look on her face), someone sang the national anthem, and then we just started running. We looped around the cemetery a couple times, ran on the street, and then crossed the finish line set up by the picnic grove. The Nesquick bunny gave out high fives and chocolate milk. I Googled to confirm that bunnies do in fact have five toes in their front paws, ensuring that it really was a high five and not a high four. You're welcome. I had my third fastest time of the year.

October: Frank Lloyd Wright 10k
I was losing steam as October continued. I was going out of town for work again and I still hadn't done 6.2 miles. I woke up the day I was leaving and decided that I would run the 10k distance before I left. It was bad. Really bad. I hated myself for not training hard enough. I hated my body for being so tired. I hated myself for wanting to cry. And then I actually did break down and cry. In the middle of the run I stopped and balled like a child. Bryan was with me and tried to comfort me, but I just needed to get it out of my system. All the bad feelings needed a place to escape and they decided to leave me in the form of embarrassing tears. Look away school children, this lady is having a rough morning, but do you have any water? I will say that I picked the worst day to attempt to run this distance. It was mid-October, but for some reason the humidity was 80 something percent. Another lesson learned. Sometimes Mother Nature is against you.

When the race day approached I was feeling nervous. I met up with my running class before the race for last minute advice and stretching.

Part of my running group. This is actually the first time I'm seeing their faces since I'm usually running blocks behind them in class trying and failing to catch up.

Something happened to my RunKeeper app during the race and it thought I was running about a minute faster than I actually was. This happens from time to time. I'll lose signal and it kind of just picks up where it lost it. Usually I hate when that happens, but this time it was actually helpful. During each audio cue, I thought, "Wow, I'm doing awesome!" In the back of my head, I knew that I wasn't really doing that great, but it was the motivation (i.e. lying) that I needed.

When I got tired, I stopped running and walked for a bit. When I was thirsty and passing a water station, I took some water. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean.  Wait, that wasn't me that was Forrest Gump. It's understandable how you could confuse my journey in an Oak Park neighborhood with that of a man running across the country multiple times. It's basically the same story.

I finished!

What I Talk About When I Talk About Trying to Run: Part Four

Me: Who is Ariana Grande?
Bryan: I don't know sounds like something you order at Taco Bell.

Readers, I'm getting old. I stumbled across a replay of MTV's Video Music Awards the other day and I could feel the years slipping through my fingers. Who were all those people? Is that what kids are wearing? Is that music today?! If it wasn't for the fact that it was nearing 7:30pm, my actual bedtime 50% of the time, I would have been a little more horrified. Alas, I went to bed instead.

Running is weird. It makes me feel old and young at the same time. At every race I've done this year, there's always at least three times when I think, "Why am I here? What am I doing? This sucks." But then at every race I cross the finish line and inside I'm shouting, "YEEEAAAHHHH!! LET'S SIGN UP FOR ANOTHER RACE!" Sometimes I shout it out loud. Most times I just try to catch my breath in the ugliest way possible.

I just finished my 12th and final race of the year last Saturday. It's been awhile since I've posted about my running (or about anything at all), so I promise this week I will finish out my running posts. It may take more than one post since my writing, like my running, is very long-winded.

July: Chinatown 5k
I almost didn't do this race. I woke up the morning of the Chinatown 5k, looked outside to see it pouring rain, and thought it would be really easy to just go back to bed. I hadn't really been training, but I thought I would go ahead and try it. It would probably stop raining and it would be fun to go to Chinatown.

It did not stop raining. I think it actually started raining harder. There were runners huddled underneath tents and the store fronts trying to stay out of the rain. They called for the runners to line up and like idiots, we all walked out into the monsoon. I was soaked within 30 seconds. After a minute I realized that I was REALLY soaked. People ran with umbrellas. I ran with the hope of taking the opposite of a shower as soon as the race was over.

Look at those smiles! You would never guess that we have squishy socks and underwear.

September: Bucktown 5k
I think it took all of August to officially dry off after the Chinatown race.  I was starting to feel unmotivated and in need of a group of people to run with so I signed up for a 10k running class with the one and only Janice Enloe. I love Bryan, but he RUNS and I more casually jog. Usually when we run together I'm out of breath and constantly apologizing for how terribly slow I am. I am the dial-up of running and Bryan is High Speed Internet. AOL will be sponsoring me soon.

If you sign up for races based off the swag, I would highly recommend the Bucktown 5k. I've worn the sweatpants from September's race multiple times. Bryan wore his at our last race. I typically wear mine to have more room for pizza eating.

My friends Annika and Dan ran the race with me. And by "with me" I mean, they finished hours before me. I think I might still be running in Bucktown.

My running class taught me how to dress for running. Dress like it's 20 degrees warmer than it actually is. It's unfortunate that I didn't listen to the advice for September's race. It was a little bit cooler that day and I decided to wear my cool looking running jacket. Five minutes in I was dying from the heat, but I couldn't take it off since my number was pinned on the outside.

I know I make a lot of jokes about running slow, but I really am proud of myself for trying. I see a lot of people post things about being faster than yourself sitting on your couch and it's completely true. Don't get discouraged if you're not as fast as you want to be. I am trying to constantly remind myself that I'm so much faster than I was even a year ago. Running is running. Go as fast or as slow as you want to go. Unless you're being chased by a bear. Then you should probably try to go a little faster, but as my Dad always says, "You only have to be faster than the slowest person."

2014 Lollapalooza: Best and Worst Moments

Another great Lollapalooza has come and gone. 2014 marks my 5th year attending the festival. A lot has changed over five years, but I think what's changed the most is my outlook. This was the first year that I finished the night at a smaller stage, instead of listening to one of the major headliners. Sunday's lineup was also the first in five years that I didn't really care about the majority of any of the acts. As with any multi-day festival, it's a long, but fun-filled experience. Below I've included the best and worst moments of 2014's Lollapalooza.

Best Stage: The Grove
The Grove has had an amazing lineup these past few years. It's easy to forget about it because it's hidden away under trees. It's the perfect stage to catch some early morning acts and, as we found out this year, to end the night. Ironically, the worst band we saw at The Grove is the band pictured below, Roadkill Ghost Choir. Their sound definitely sounded like it had been rotting away in the middle of a dirt road. We ended both nights at The Grove seeing Phantogram and Darkside. We also got our first taste of rain watching Gemini Club on Sunday and avoided getting drenched thanks to ponchos and the trees.

Best Day: Saturday

Maybe it's because Saturday had the best weather. Maybe it's because we ended it singing and dancing our way through Outkast's set, but Saturday was my favorite day of the weekend. Vance Joy, Fitz & The Tantrums, and Foster the People were just some of the highlights.

This is what Lollaplooza is all about. Sitting on a hill listening to great music with your friends.

Best Food: Lobster corndog

A little disappointed that the mustard-fried catfish was nowhere to be found, but I found solace in baskets of cheese fries, mushroom nachos, truffle parmesan popcorn, and lobster corndogs.

I have no pictures of the food, but this is what I looked like after eating non-stop for three days.

Best Throwback: Outkast

Am I old enough now to have a throwback band be music that I listened to in middle/high school? I guess so. Judging by the blank faces in the audience it also seems that Annika and I were the only ones who listened to more than just "Hey Ya!" I'm sorry Ms. Jackson, but there are better songs on Stankonia. Of course the blank faces could also have to do with the cloud of smoke that hovered over the crowd too. I think the best part of their set was that it just felt like watching two friends having fun.

Best Closer: Phantogram
Can I just start by saying how crazy it was that Phantogram was a closer? Just four years ago I was standing at the front of the stage at Lincoln Hall listening as Sarah Barthel whisper, "Hi we're Phantogram. We're from New York." in her little girl voice. And they were opening for The Antlers! But you don't know who The Antlers are? Exactly. They were opening for a band that most people haven't even heard of today. Now their songs are on commercials and they're closing out Friday night at Lollapalooza. I'm not saying it wasn't a deserved spot, they put on an amazing show, their new album Voices is fantastic, and I really have fallen in love with Fall In Love. I just haven't gotten over the shock at seeing their name at the end of the day. Thank goodness she still has that high pitch baby voice, which she is now using to tell her bandmate, Josh Carter, how much she "f'-ing loves his beats" instead of telling the audience their hometown.

Worst Day: Sunday

There are many reasons why Sunday was not my favorite. The constant rain. Having to wear a plastic poncho all day. Missing the opportunity to get closer to see the Avett Brothers because of the mud pits that were forming by the Samsung Galaxy stage. We came prepared for rain, so while it didn't soak our stuff it did dampen the day.

The only thing separating us from the Avett Brothers was mud. Lots and lots of mud.

Worst Act: Iggy Azalea

There are no pictures of this act because we stood at the edge of Perry's for about five minutes before deciding to get the heck out of there. It was so loud that you couldn't really hear any distinguishing sound or even a voice in all the obnoxious bass. After reading reviews of her set it sounds like we didn't miss too much. Sweaty teenagers puking all around? Sounds pretty "Fancy" to me.

Worst Stage: Perry's or Lakeshore
Perry's is hands-down the worst stage at Lollapalooza for all of the reasons above. It's so loud that it's kind of destroying the music at Lakeshore. It's impossible for acts like Warpaint, Lykke Li, or The Head and The Heart to compete with the constant bass at Perry's.

Lakeshore Stage in the background.

Favorite Quotes:

"ID's out if you want to drink. If you don't want to drink, why are you here?" said by the guy checking ID's at the front of the gate. We took advantage of the Uncorked Wine Lounge on Sunday when it rained non-stop for hours.

After a few minutes of serious sound issues from their pre-recorded track, the lead singer of Of Verona said, "None of this is pre-recorded...except for the parts that are pre-recorded."

Favorite Moment: Fitz & the Tantrums
Fitz & the Tantrums put on a great show on Saturday, but for me, these two below stole the entire set. As we were sitting on our favorite hill by the Samsung stage, we see this little boy (yellow shirt) start coming down the hill as The Walker starts. He sees a woman (white dress) dancing and you can tell by the look on his face that he's thinking, "I"m gonna ask that lady to dance!" Then they performed the best synchronized dance! It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Final Thoughts:

Why are people bringing kids to Lollapalooza? I get that there's a Kidzapalooza, but you still have to walk through regular Lollapalooza to get there. As much as I love this festival, I would never in a million years think about bringing a kid to witness all the disgusting and foul things that become part of Grant Park. We sat next to a family (mom, dad, and two kids) on Saturday and they were the worst kids ever! The little boy kept hitting his mom and throwing pennies in her beer and the little girl would not stop whining. Everyone was miserable. Including me. There are rare moments (like the Fitz & the Tantrum dancing) where it's cute that there's a kid there, but for the most part, leave your little ones at home.

This was the first year that I've been to an aftershow. It was actually a pre-show since it was the Wednesday before Lollapalooza, but I would definitely do it again! Bryan and I got to see Courtney Barnett play at Schubas Tavern from about five feet away. They put on an amazing show!